In most cases (we women) feel significantly better after a separation – when we have overcome the heartache of love. From my experience, we always change positively and here are tips on how to better yourself after a breakup.
In this article I have summarized what has changed for me personally, but also for my clients, when they have overcome their lovesickness and started to live again.
If you are not ready yet, because you are still in one of the first two phases, read the article anyway, because then you know what to look forward to. If you have similar or different experiences, then share them with us in the comment field below.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
What a stupid saying, I thought, when (especially older) people gave it to me during my love sorrow on the way. And I can understand if you feel the same way.
But in the end they were right. As bad as I was, as much as I suffered (and believe me, I did!), I can tell you from experience there is a light at the end of the tunnel and your life will be better than before – because you will change.
And that’s what it’s all about today, the opportunities and possibilities that a separation gives you:
You become more attractive
You’ll notice how you change mentally during the breakup. This can be a strange and overwhelming feeling from time to time. And: It will be reflected in your appearance.
I had a very happy relationship, and you could see that in “my hips” too, because over the years a kilo or two has accumulated too much. During my separation I lost a total of 15 kilos, first through lack of appetite and then through an iron diet, and felt more comfortable than ever before.
Plus: I looked better than ever before in my life – and even if I have 5 kilos on it again today, I look better and am happier with my body than ever before. And you can do it too!
Your sexual experiences expand
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you’ll agree with me that the sex was sensitive, intense and good – clear because we know each other and our partner inside out. Don’t get me wrong, sex with a partner we love is beautiful.
However, you will probably agree with me that – especially if your relationship, like mine, started in teenage years (I was 19) – sexual adventures after separation have a special appeal. And you should also live it out, because it will also contribute to your change.
You fall in love with the greatest person in the world – yourself!
For more than 10 years I heard “I love you” – from my ex-boyfriend. You get used to it. Of course I didn’t stand in front of the mirror and say “Simone, I love you” – today I do.
I learned that I have to love myself before someone else can love me. And that self-love is also the basis for an intact relationship, because it leads to respect for oneself and the ability not to let one do everything with oneself when one gets hurt.
This is also a process that doesn’t happen overnight. But you should get used to this ritual and integrate it into your day. The first time you will feel a bit strange, but with time it will be normal for you.
Through this awareness and learning to love yourself, you will change. You will slowly feel what is good for you and what is not – and it will change your self-image!
Did you know that it takes exactly 21 days to get used to something? Stand in front of the mirror every morning for the next three weeks and tell yourself that you love yourself and it becomes routine. Try it out!
Your separation gives you courage to do something extraordinary
Getting married, two children, a great job, a terraced house, two cars and adventurous holidays – my personal idea of life. Today I enjoy my independence, have quit my job, sold all my possessions. I am 31, single, live and work all over the world and discover myself every day anew. A concept of life that certainly doesn’t suit everyone, but it doesn’t have to.
The point I want to make is that once you’ve progressed with your break-up, you’ll develop completely new life plans. It doesn’t have to be a 180-degree change, but you will have the drive, motivation and courage to tackle things and reshape your life.
A job change, a different city, a new apartment or a three-month trip around the world – you’ll have so much fun rebuilding your life! Believe me!